I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
