i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
