oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
