Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
