The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize