White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
