I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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