Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood

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(917): View more from New York City

I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.

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(509): View more from Washington

I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

(909): View more from California

I'm scared to ask why.....

(509): View more from Washington

1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.

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(515): View more from Iowa

oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.

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