I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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