so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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