So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
