Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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