I wish I could punch you in the face.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
