I want to have your abortion
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
