yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
