I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
PANTIES FOUND
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