we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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