She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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