They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
