the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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