i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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