i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
MIDGETS
????
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
