Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didn't notice because vodka
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
