I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
