He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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