escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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