i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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