Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
