no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
