the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize