Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he puts the penis in happiness.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
