I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
