just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hippo gnu deer
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
