im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
