This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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