did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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