I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
