just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
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I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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