So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize