If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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