You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize