I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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