I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My ass is underappreciated
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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