I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
