The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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