Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
