So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How drunk are you?
Completed.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
