oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
