I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
