and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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