It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
