My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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