We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
