How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You've changed since you got that strap on
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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