my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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