please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
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Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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