some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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