just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
