Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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