we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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